Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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