i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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