Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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