you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
