You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
is it fun? or sober?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
