So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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