Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
