I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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