If i come over, it means nothing
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
