also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
