If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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