dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
