just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
