you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
