just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
