all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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