i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
