I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
