Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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