y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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