you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
