i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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