I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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