he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
