I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
