im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
