i don't like sucking hair
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
