just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
