feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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