there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
