D3 body, D1 cock
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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