you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
