My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
