i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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