I just pynch a tree in the face
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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