And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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