where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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