you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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