So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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