So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
