There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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