I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
