just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
