I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
