she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize