I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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