hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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