I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
