Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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