I need help removing her.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
