party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
