just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
