It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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