Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
