I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize