what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
