omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
