I'm lost and stupid without you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
