There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
