just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
