on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
